How to Get Natural Smiles From Kids in Photos (Without Saying "Cheese")
"Say cheese!" is the fastest way to end up with a photo nobody actually likes.
In nearly 20 years of family photography in Hong Kong, I have shot over 1,000 family sessions. The best images, the ones that end up framed above the mantelpiece, the ones parents send me messages about years later, almost never came from a posed instruction. They came from a moment between people who had forgotten the camera was there.
Here is how I create those moments, and what you can do to help.
The Core Principle: Give Children Something Real to Do
Children cannot pretend to feel things they do not feel. The moment you ask a child to smile at a camera, they know it is not real and their face shows it. The antidote is simple: give them something genuinely interesting to do, and let the expression follow naturally.
At a beach session, that might be skipping stones, burying feet in sand, or being spun around by a parent. At a park session, it might be following a koi fish along the edge of the pond, or crouching down to look at something in the grass. None of these activities produce a "smile" on command, they produce something better: a real expression from a real experience.
My job as the photographer is to be ready for that expression and catch it at the right moment. Your job as a parent is simply to play with your child as you normally would, and trust that I will take care of the rest.
Why "Relax and Be Natural" Is Bad Advice
Every photographer tells families to "relax and be natural." It is the worst advice you can give anyone standing in front of a camera. Self-consciousness is the enemy of natural expression, and telling someone to stop being self-conscious increases self-consciousness.
What actually works is distraction. When a parent genuinely engages with their child, not performing engagement for the camera, but actually playing, whispering something funny, or starting a tickle fight, the self-consciousness dissolves. Both parent and child forget the camera exists. That is the window I work in.
I keep sessions deliberately low-pressure. There is no moment where I say "okay now let's get the shot." The whole session is the shot. We move, we explore, we find moments. The images come from the session, not from a pause in the middle of it.
Specific Techniques That Actually Work
The whisper trick
I will often ask a parent to whisper something ridiculous in their child's ear, something age-appropriate and silly. The child's reaction is always genuine, and the image of a parent whispering to a laughing or wide-eyed child is almost always one of the best frames of the session.
Movement and momentum
Children who are walking, running, or spinning are children who are not posing. Movement creates natural expressions, natural body language, and natural parent-child interaction. I ask families to walk away from me, then turn around, the turn produces a genuine, unprepared expression every time. I ask parents to swing children between them. I ask older children to race to a tree. The game is real; the image is real.
Age-appropriate engagement
A two-year-old needs to be played with, not directed. A six-year-old can follow a simple instruction and then immediately forget about it. A ten-year-old often does better when I explain what I am doing and treat them as a collaborator. I adjust my approach continuously throughout a session based on what I am seeing in front of me.
Breaks and snacks
A hungry or tired child will not give you natural smiles, they will give you a very different kind of honesty. Bring snacks, bring a drink, and do not worry about scheduling the session around nap times if possible. A quick snack break mid-session often produces its own beautiful moments, a child eating messily, a parent cleaning a chin, the genuine interaction that follows. I keep shooting through these moments.
What Parents Get Wrong (And How to Fix It)
The most common mistake parents make is trying to manage their children during the session. Calling their name to look at the camera, telling them to stand still, adjusting their clothes mid-frame, all of these break the natural flow and put a child back into self-consciousness.
The instruction I give at the start of every session is this: for the next 90 minutes, your job is to enjoy time with your family. Mine is to make pictures of that. Trust me to find the moments. Your children's behaviour is my responsibility today, not yours.
When parents hear that, something visibly relaxes in them, and that relaxation is what produces the images they actually want.
Oh, and refrain from taking photos during the session. Kids end up with frozen smiles and eye-lines that are all wrong. For an hour or two, just let me do my thing! I’m pretty good at it.
And remember, never tell a kid, or anyone for that matter, to "Say Cheese”!
The Result
The images that come from this approach look nothing like the stiff, symmetrical family portraits most people grew up seeing on their grandparents' walls. They look like your family, your actual family, in a real place, in a real moment. A child mid-laugh. A parent catching a running toddler. Siblings conspiring about something. That is the goal. That is the image worth putting in the album.
For more info on how I work and some guidelines on planning your session, check my FAQ page.
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